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jakara's avatar

I empathize with Yamilka. Overthinking about the woes of this "white supremacist capitalist patriarchy" is a part of my daily routine, but I struggle to get these thoughts out of my head and into real life sometimes, especially into a space that is not tied to academia. Being in incubation with everyone, having a space where I could share these thoughts so freely, and hearing them echoed in the stories of people around me felt so refreshing and inspiring. Like Yamilka, I felt community in a way that I haven't in a really long time and in such an authentic way. It feels weird to say, because yes, most of the people there were strangers and we were only there for a few hours, but the vulnerability you offered created a space for each of us to be vulnerable as well.

I think about the "Soursop Head." In Ithaca, I'm usually in community with the land. I sit at the gorge and share these reflections with the water and trees. I love seeing human behaviors and social concepts reflected in the Earth, reminding me that we are not as separate from nature as we like to believe. I've learned so many lessons from the plants and the Soursop offers another. When I posed the question of giving up, many of the responses stayed with me. I wish I could remember the exact words, but Taylor said "we must make this way of life attractive."

When I question why people won't join this movement, why complacency feels okay for so many of us so much of the time, it's because our current life seems easier -- revolution has never been easy. If we were to truly get rid of every oppressive system in this country alone, it would mean a complete transformation of the way we go through life. We would have to give up so much -- time, our standard of living, perceived safety, social norms -- and all these things feel very cemented. What is the point of fighting for a new life when this one is so cemented in history that is has become natural?Oppression has made itself so powerful it feels like an unmovable object and instead of wasting our lives to try to change something that is unchangeable, we settle into a blissful ignorance. We try and separate ourselves from "politics." We choose happiness, a soft life.

The Soursop Head reminds me to rethink the ugly stage. People love locs when they are manicured, long, and retwisted, but so many people fear that "ugly stage." We want freedom from beauty standards, we want the ability to wear our natural in a way that honors who we actually are -- but we are scared to actually take that journey. There is no ugly stage of locs and Revolution is not the ugly stage of liberation. They are only ugly in how we perceive them, not in what they actually are. They are necessary steps on the path to freedom, and knowing that freedom is on the goal of both journeys should make them so attractive. Sure, fighting for our lives is hard af, "revolution: it's not short, nor easy, nor quick", but freedom is worth it. Liberation -- in its truest form, is worth the ugly stage. I've never wanted to have children of my own because yikes, but my niece will be born this month, so I called her into the space with me. If I have to sacrifice my life [whatever that means] for her liberation -- so they can be whatever, unbound by the arbitrary social constraints, it is worth it.

Ignoring oppression won't make it go away. How soft can my life be if it is materially hard for so many people around this globe. Audre Lorde writes "the machine will grind you down whether you speak out or not." How could I betray this life I was given by opting for easy or soft, when my silence won't make things easier or softer? What is soft about making it easy for oppressors to oppressor you? This fight is so hard, but the possibility of a new life makes it worth it. The journey might be "ugly" but is capitalism, imperialism, and all other forms of oppression not already ugly? Why not go through a period of chosen, consensual ugly to gain true beauty as the outcome, instead of pretending that things are pretty enough to leave them as is.

Cyepress shared something that resonated with me, and that I'm remembering as I write this. The thoughts in my head make such an intricate web and it feels strange sometimes to try and articulate them in a way that can make sense to someone not in my head. The words are written on nonconsecutive pages, some thoughts originated from years ago, sparked by conversations around "In Incubation", some newly formed that Saturday, some that will pop up months from now -- but they all connect in a way, and I hope the connections I've made in this post, though unfinished and a bit incoherent, and just a segment of this web in my mind, resonate with some of you as well and your experiences in incubation.

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Yamilka's avatar

In Incubation was a healing space for me. Very rarely, if ever, have I been in a space where I could feel raw vulnerability between strangers, evident in the offerings and stories shared by the audience. I also felt a sense of belonging that I don't feel often.

I called my mother into the space because I want to rekindle our relationship. It made me reflect and acknowledge that there are emotions toward her that I have not addressed, and frankly, avoided addressing.

It's paradoxical that the nurture of a mother and birth is rooted in vulnerability and intimacy, yet I have difficulty accessing that as an adult. Moving forward, I would like to reciprocate the nourishment, love and care that she provided for me.

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